it's the end of my 3rd week of icus. time really flies. i was in deep procrastination mode today, trolling the net and checked my emails countless of times, sms'ing kak rosi, chattin with adrian. i've learnt quite a lot which i'd never have the chance at skool. sheila dropped by @ my desk, "sayang, this thursday you can have a half day off from work...i'll inform sarah abt it since you're workin on her proj. enjoy your hari raya." she's soo sweet...ehehhee. rae calls me darling...i'm not used to such mushy treatments ^_^ aniway guys, you should check out here. i still got so much things to learn. nevetheless, i'll try to find that way, and walk it. one day at a time.

suddenly almost everyone in the office including my wretched self seems to have some kind of coughin and sneezing probs. my sinuses are now a labyrinthine catacomb of mucus. my chest wheezes. and not having enough sleep worsen it day by day. it's a glum, rainy day…just the kind I like. perfect for hugging my bolster. ;)

i’ve finished all the modules by lunchtime yesterday…but my happiness lasted for a while cos Bec passed me another set of modules to be completed by next Thursday. the wave of self-pity has passed now, and im tryin to wrap my soggy brain around some character illustrations today. i’m sure if isz is in my shoes rite now, she would be beaming…cos illustrating is one of her forte. and thanx kak rosi for the bubur masjid and the patience downloadin those softwares. heh. Alhamdulillah~ *besok pi shoppin, ok.*

i go to bed exhausted and i woke up even more exhausted. this is not good. i woke up on time when the mrt reaches jurong east this morning. i really have no control over it. i've been doing illustrations since late last week. and i got to complete 10++ illustrations by lunchtime today. i want some outside force to entertain me so I can glean pleasure without any effort on my part, aside from keeping my eyes open. eid seems so near and i havent done anythin on my part...cleanin the house, helpin emak wif the cookies, etc, etc. i need help myself.

finally get to savour dendeng *thin slices of marinated grilled meat* for iftar today...*yummy* emak and adik bought some for me when they went to the hair saloon to 'renovate' their hair this afternoon. i got a shock when i reached home. my sis permed her hair and she sure looks different. muehehehehe~ mcm felicity...

yiyong is working within a walking distance from my workplace...bumped into him this mornin at the duaposen bus. he's designing icons @ M1...he doesnt sound happy though. it's juz not his kind of work. he's good @ animation and games design and suddenly he's designin icons for mobile phones. kinda boring if you ask me. :P

i postponed my date with kak rosi today to sls...*sorry* becos i spent the whole day looking after amin while his mum brought his bro and sis out juz now. my mum was busy sewing baju kurong and cooking for iftar. so i played and "toured" around the house with amin...heh. he's grown bigger now and more active now.

i juz got a call on my hp. i scrambled to look at the caller ID but didn't recognize the number, but picked it up. me: "Hello?" caller with ahBeng accent: "harlow? how come you sound different ah?" me: "well, i sound different because you've got the wrong number...so plz hang up. plz hang up..." *sings to the tone of slim shady* well, he hung up.

uncle choong visited me yesterday @ the office to see how i was doing there. discussed about a number of things mainly on how the company works, office politics stuffs and what im supposed to prepare for the presentation in Feb. they said i was too quiet @ work...heh.

i got my semestral results yester'nite. my heart was racing with anticipation when yanni sms'ed that results are out. Disappointment was possible. im afraid of failures...something which i couldnt handle now. unlike when i was @ TP. and that daily feeling of anticipation and excitement had dissipated when i saw that i've passed my accounting. *Alhamdulillah~* Allah has been indeed kind to me. He has always been. But sometimes i forgot...juz like any other human beings.

a number of the peeps will be leaving the company next month. it was kinda shocking cos i never thot that a big company which is doing well could retrench their employees. even peeps who went to university and had years of experience. hmm...economy's getting worse. the bad vibes got to me though i'm not the one who was 'axed'. i wonder how i'll fare next year.

anyway, take a lookie @ my workplace below.

i was walking towards the office and i saw many of the icus peeps rushing to Strategy. That was really strange and i thot perhaps they are having some kind of free breakfast thingie there. The office was almost empty when i came in....sheila explained that icus is having some kind of BIG staff meeting and i can sit here and be glad that nobody's bothering me...for now. mermet's late and he rushed out of the office in a split second. Right now i'm relaxing and surfing around....still tired from yesterday's very short meeting wif the small peeps.

"you know what you look like to me with your good bag and your cheap shoes? you look like a rube." Hannibal Lecter, The Silence of the Lambs. i watched it for the 4th time yesterday on channel i....anthony hopkins decorates his character with brilliant line readings and the smirks and winks. the movie's psychologically intense and i hope to watch isz's red dragon tonite. i know i'm laggin here...heh.

me and kak rosi 'scoured' SLS yesterday. she bought one stack of cdrw discs...while i bought a portable external harddisk, a firewire cable and a fujifilm digicam for my dad. my dad has been eyeing the cam for quite some time and i thot that might make a good present for him. and yeah, he likes it.

adrian's my photography guru now...we discussed abt photography juz now and exchanged tips. mermet came over to see how i was doing.

mermet: so how are you?
me: still alive....*smiles*
mermet: if anyone bullies you, tell me. i'll bash him/her up..*grinz*
me: sure, i will, sir.

i shud be callin him by his name but it sounds weird. sarah makes me feel really part of the team...though i didn't do much. rae is cute...she talks and sometimes i dun understand her slang. so i smiled. sometimes people juz come over to my desk and introduced themselves. and i smiled again. i smile a lot here. :)

my sleeping time on the mrt was 'extended' from clementi to tampines on my way home juz now..hehehe. i wouldnt want to know how i sleep...or worse...sekali talkin and walkin ard in my sleep. that would make me in tomorrow's streats!! "Girl sleep-walked in mrt." lol~

i'm going to get myself an external harddisk @ SLS this saturday. any peeps wanna follow?

my work keyboard feels nice...making clickety sounds as i typed...hehehe. i had my first meeting here an hour ago...wif the proj manager, 2 angmohs, and 3 others. I actually dunno abt the meeting until adrian informed me. so i juz sat there...pretendin to listen and smilin. will be starting on a BIG project tomorrow. adrian's scaring me wif the details...loads of grafix to do and everythin. excited but afraid that i won't live up to the team's expectations... ... ...

no writing for the last few days. not enough time in the morning. too tired when I got home yesterday. i made full use of the mrt journey to catch up on my sleep....i dozed off almost the entire journey this mornin...haha. My attachment company is fun...everyone was so welcomin here. i got my own desktop, locker, and a fone. the structure of this whole building is pretty kewl too.....mebbe tomorrow i'll bring my camera and shoot around during lunch. and mermet's here too...our batik proj supervisor. farny guy. nothing much to do now cos i've juz completed some minor flash changes. mebbe later... ... ...

Man, i'm bored today. TCK rambled about the attachment project which seemingly felt like eternity this mornin. Everyone's anxious to know what company they're posted to. we were supposed to get the slip yesterday but jK talked about napfa test instead @ the briefing. :P anyway i'll be workin @ ICUS startin next week for 3 whole months. Well, it's in jurong east(!!) but the pay will make up for the looonnng journey. *grinz* ratz can do her shoppin everyday cos she'll be in mandarin @ orchard. isz will do her "magic" in elves'lab. toot is posted to sentosa! lolz~ *courtesy of syawala* well, at least none of us was posted to rSi. so be thankful, peeps...heh.

a new design. :)

i woke up almost noon for almost 2 days straight! nah, i'm not proud of it, but it felt great! sleep doesn't take the pain in my heart away, but it does seem to dull it momentarily. it took me just a moment to readjust and recognize that the happiness I felt in the dream was a tease, and reality sets back in immediately. i won't get to sleep this long starting next week when i have to start my work attachment. and so i'll be meeting the small people tomorrow to know our job postings. and coicidentally Ramadhan is tomorrow too! *double yay* let's remind ourselves that when we fast, it is not just our stomachs which fast. our eyes, tongue, hands, feet, ears also fast. let us make use of this Ramadhan to enlighten our hearts and enrich our souls...Ramadhan Mubarak!

seeing how much my mom has sacrificed for me and my sis, i don't think i could ever be as good a mother even if i would ever want to be a mom. sometimes i can't help wonder if i'm worth all the sacrifices she has made, and how i'll ever be able to repay her. even if your mum has never been a good mother, juz remember that she has given birth to you and not be like this dumba*s!